4 Signs Of A True Gentleman

I certainly like the list, but why couldn’t the first two items say “others” instead of “women”? A true gentlemen would treat all others with respect and value, no?

Dale, so well said. Your daughter is so fortunate to have a father who uderstands what it means to be a man a father. I believe your article is relevant so often left undefined for so many. Thank you for sharing.

Good list!

Yeah, the whole article should aimed at “people”. It’s an incredibly sexist article, actually.

I love these, Dale. As I prepare to become a father in March, these thoughts are always crossing my mind. And whether you’re raising a son or daughter, these are all applicable principles to keep in mind.

As a woman, I have to say I don’t think this article is sexist at all. I am definitely not here to argue but to speak up and say I think the way a man treats the women in his life says a lot about his character. It’s easy for men to treat men well because they think the same way, they are the same. But for a man to be aware of the value the women around him bring to his life and be able to recognize that is not only rare but respectable (goes the other way as well for us, women, to treat the men in our life with respect). I think this article is spot on and so good. Thanks Dale!

This could certainly be extended to how you relate to *all* people, not just women. In fact, I’d say you can’t be a true gentleman to a woman if you are incapable of being a true gentleman to all people. The inconsistency would wear you down. A true gentleman is authentic and show’s great care in all his relationships.

A gentlemen looks after, supports, helps

The article isn’t sexist at all. It is a beautiful piece written to a target audience. Settle down.

Nailed it Dale! I can’t wait for The 4 Signs of a True Lady..Woman..Classy Gal.

I don’t think any man is perfect. That’s what your describing it sounds like. The perfect gentleman has all of these qualities. I think we’re all flawed, any gentlemen could understand that. However this is definitely something to keep in mind. Especially the part about putting women first and lifting them up not putting them down with more than words. As a product of a poor relationship, I’ve had to teach myself these qualities without having any guidance or influence. So to read a list of them and be not able to check them all off is discouraging.

This is perfect! Thank you for sharing what a true gentelman is supposed to be instead of all this media puts out. Now more girls need to read this. I’ll help with that.

Wonderful. This is what I call the new, healthy, masculine archetype that is emerging now. I think it is not easy for men to find this kind of quiet strength because there are so few examples to follow in previous generations. But maybe men need to do what women have had to do in the past couple of generations – create their own new blueprint of what it means to be a man or a woman. How fabulous that will be!

“…surrounds himself with leaders who have permission to speak into his life” – What a great break down. It’s so disappointing when men search for mentors and the ones who want to speak into their lives are the men who aren’t living an exemplary life to begin with. It shows true maturity and strength for a man to identify those leaders and mentors that they want in their lives by choice rather than convenience.

Very well said. Let us encourage our boys to want to grow into gentlemen.

I’m going to agree with you on this one! There’s nothing wrong with a blog piece targeted at a specific audience. I’ve had plenty targeted towards women, as well as all people in general. Well said man

He would, of course. But the purpose of this article was targeted toward men knowing how to become a true gentleman toward ladies.

So well said!

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed

Thank you lady

Congrats my friend. It has truly been the most rewarding experience of my life! Glad you enjoyed the article

Indeed

Absolutely. Glad to see you got the real point behind the article!

Absolutely! Classy is definitely up there

Remember that no matter what, we are always changing and growing and (hopefully) aiming to better ourselves. There should never be a moment where you can “check” these off the list, as you should always aim to continue growing! That’s the key

YES! Love this Tasha! Spread the word for sure

There are definitely fine examples of a man that exist today, and I am a big advocate for following in the footsteps of one! For me, it’s Jesus, and a few other men around me that I highly respect (because they are gentlemen). I don’t know if I agree that a new blueprint needs to be made, but I do know we need a change in our society! Perhaps even reverting back to the “old days” where courtship was necessary. So much respect back then!

Agreed!

Truly love the way you worded this, Kelly. Well said!

But – the more we differentiate, the more we see difference. If we can accept that all should be equally deserving of our respect, then it no longer becomes important to distinguish how one should treat one segment specifically.

Well said….in addition, to quote a friend many years ago, “a true gentlemen would never do anything in life that you would be embarrassed to do in front of your grandmother, your mother, your wife and or your daughter”…

Just wanted to share my two cents here. For those that argue this post is sexist, I would ask that you read the first paragraph again. Actually, the first line should suffice.

“After having a daughter earlier this year, I find myself eager to exemplify a version of a man she can truly admire.”

Now I’m not claiming to know the writer’s thoughts here, but I’m willing to bet the “sexist” slant of the article comes from that point. I would venture to guess he was writing this with his little girl in mind, and from that lens comes a more gender specific writing.

It’s not to say this piece isn’t easily adaptable as a model for young boys either. But that’s not how he wrote it. Never mind the specific disclaimer that was added to note the true point of this article. I would just caution people to look before crying wolf.

This is so good, Dale. I love that you researched and shared what you found. Perhaps you could write a book to explore and expound upon the topic even more. To all fathers…

Very well and concisely said. Thank you for sharing. I’d love to share this with some of our teens.

Dale,

This is a beautiful description of a gentleman. My sister and I have been raising her 8 year old son together since he was born. We say that we are trying to raise the kind of man we would want to marry. I am going to keep this article as I am making him a book about what it means to be a man of character. Thank you for your positive voice in this sometimes crazy world. It’s nice to know there are men like you out there encouraging men and women to be the best they can be.

So true!

Absolutely. There’s nothing wrong with targeting a certain gender for a particular article You totally get where I’m coming from!

Haha maybe one day!

Yes. That would be amazing

Wow I am honored! Thank you for your kind words. I am so glad these articles really do make a difference sometimes.

Dale…. women and woman are not the same… learn the fucking difference before declaring the definition of a proper gentleman, based on some loose definition of your own life….

Seriously guy? That seems rather unnecessary, especially to cuss. Kind of highlights exactly the opposite type of person than what he is talking about here. Respect is the largest thread of his article and you clearly have none.

except sex

Putting every woman on a pedestal above you is dangerous.

Do 4 signs of a true lady.

Don’t know what to say…. maybe he should take English 101, or look at a dictionary, before being a writer of articles. Just a thought.

Showing respect for a person, man or woman, is not the same as putting them on a pedestal. In fact, putting any person on a pedestal is, in and of itself, disrespectful because it idolizes a distorted image of the person and not the whole person.

Haha you are ticked off because of my grammar? Guess it doesn’t take much for you

Yes it can be, but respecting a woman and making sure she understands her worth was my point.

Already in the works

I think you’re referring to that 1% of men out there today. Your 4 signs don’t even apply to every men. I know plenty of men who treat women with respect and not apply any of those signs. I know that some has 2 or 3 out of the 4 signs. You my friend are living in a dream world. It seems like you wrote this article to praise women maybe? Perhaps to kiss ass? And personally it makes me feel like you think women are worthless, like they can’t do any of that themselves and they need a man to do it. What about independent women? I’m sure independent women don’t need a man to do any of those things for her which makes your 4 signs irrelevant dude.

If you think I view women as worthless, you did not even read the article. And clearly our definitions of respect are on opposite ends of the spectrum. You’re criticizing the article as if the 4 signs mentioned are actually a bad thing. If every man displayed at least 1 of those signs, our culture and our world would change dramatically. But our women are demoralized and made into sexual images by the media and our culture adopts those ideals as their own. Our men do not have proper examples of what comprises a true man, and your comment is unfortunately confirmation of that. And just because a woman is independent doesn’t mean she doesn’t need respect.

I completely agree with you, Dale, except for one thing – women don’t need respect, women deserve respect as every human being.

I Really like your article an as a woman in today’s society reminds me that I should not settle for less, that I’m worth it..

I take issue with number four. I fail to understand why you think that you need to have a bunch of money to be a gentleman. I come from a poor background. I work full time and I just barely have enough money to get by, but according to part four, I must be some sort of scoundrel because I’m poor.

I think you’re reading too much into it. Number four doesn’t say that you have to be rich but that you should exercise wisdom with what you have. It’s not a sin to be poor or to be rich. Each has it’s own challenges and temptations. If your pay is little, do you practice contentment? Are you wise to pay what is necessary or do you spend foolishly and let debt snowball? These are the things I think Dale is getting at.

Very well said, man!

Numbers 2 & 3 are excellent. I take issue with number 1 & 4. Most men as most women have responsibilities in a relationship. Each relationship across the gender divide is unique and different. Few women today recognize a gentleman in their presence. Men today treat women so poorly that anytime we simply provide any respectful professional courtesy or conversation, women of all adult ages act and react as if we are trying to hook up, think we are a mama’s boy because we are not banging our chest or presume we are gay, simply because our mama raised us right. In #4, women want a man with money, but rarely do women get a gentleman if they did not work together as a team to make the money. The become kept trophies. The problem is that we are not educating children of any gender how to select an appropriate life partner. Teaching a child is managed with modeling experiences based on actual sit down discussion curriculum and lessons. Authenticity, charity, compassion, honesty, integrity & transparency would be better descriptors of a gentleman.

I agree whole heartily.

I agree with you. She *deserves* respect.

You absolutely are worth it.

I completely agree with David’s comment below. If you are a hard worker, then take pride in your work and your earnings. But you do also need to understand that security for a woman (mentally, emotionally, physically, financially) is EVERYTHING. I believe in my responsibility as a man to provide for my family, and that in turn gives my wife peace and security. It’s all about being wise in your financial decisions. Somehow, the more we make the more we spend – it’s like we train ourselves to be broke no matter how much we make. Read The Magic of Thinking Big and this will help you understand what I mean. On your side

Haha! You are right about the first part, sometimes being a gentleman can make women think you’re on to her. Use your discernment there. And I definitely agree with most of what you said, specifically the last two sentences. I think those are great things to *add to* the list above, but I would never take away those 4 things that I believe are truly important (and lacking in our society). Every relationship is different, and each marriage (specifically) should be 100/100 NOT 50/50 as commonly said. You can’t deny that a woman needs security in her finances and in her marriage – this is where financial wisdom comes in or it can wreak havoc and destroy even the strongest couples.

I don’t think women necessarily deserve respect. No one “deserves” respect. Respect is something you earn.

Wrong. Emotionally healthy Women do need it. It has to do with our make up.

I guess this does not apply for Women in India where the law is terribly in their favour. I know 50+ gentlemen in my friend circle of 200above where the guy is super nice and has got married to a disasterous female. Indian women abuse men and threaten them with court and law. If a man is good and woman is bad, the law here doesnt support the man. He has to pay half of his lifelong earnings to save himself from a bad woman and divorce takes 4-15 years. Plus social harrasment and image goes down becoz of that dirty woman who played mind games and spoilt the mans name in greed or so that she will get a nicer victim to torture after divorce in next marriage.

Wow this is beautiful! SOME men do lack in these things (especially in guys my age group) and I think this respect comes with maturity as well as upbringing and so on. but it is what it is and I can only praise this guy for writing this article and I hope his daughter comes across a guy x10 more of a gentleman than what he hopes for (not that the above isn’t enough already) because for a father to want that for their daughter, he deserves everything back much more greater.

Overall I like this list, but I do have to say number two seems a little strange to me. I don’t think it’s a terrible or evil idea. I simply don’t like the idea of a woman needing to have her value taught to her by someone else. Maybe it should be something more along the lines of “allow her to realize her own value.” It’s a pretty similar idea, but I’m just not crazy about some of the implications of number two as it is. I’m not saying you should refrain from loving and encouraging the women in your life, but it is not your job to show her value to her. It is your job to not keep her from knowing her value, and NEVER making her question her value in any way. I’m sorry, I hope I wasn’t too critical right there. I really do like this list overall, and I think it is good for all men (myself included) to work as hard as they can to be gentlemen.

I like all said above. Even if some of ladies think this is utopia, I am happy to tell that it is not.

Dear lady…you have a wrong picture of India from your so called friends…there might be bad women everywhere..that doesn’t happen only in India…

India is a place where 80% of the women are still controlled by her husband or father…you have no idea of our situation here…I am an educated women working in a corporate…but I still can’t make even 40% of decisions which are my own….everything has to be approved by my hubby n his in laws

If it is dangerous, you’ve not found a woman that measures up. I’ve often asked myself if my “picker” is broken. Might be a good question for you too.

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I like your definitions and appauld your for expressing them so clearly. Now where can I find this man?

I agree whole-heartedly! Women don’t get praised nearly enough for all they do! I believe in leaving notes of affirmation of why I love my woman. I send cards even if they live in the same town. I love to do anything which lets them know they were thought of while I was away from them.

I have been single for nearly 14 years now and I see more and more women saying they want a man who is honest and has a great sense of humor. Well, they must want more than those two things because I have both of those and I am still single.

Being a gentleman is giving your woman security. Security of Shelter, Food & Clothing, but also Security of Love and Kindness and knowing her needs come before mine. She needs to know the only way we will break up is if she wants to leave. She needs to know she is secure in life and protected whenever she is by my side. She needs to know there is no such thing as force or manipulation within our relationship.

A woman needs to know she is the best thing ever to happen to her man and without her, his world would NOT be nearly as great! A woman needs to be told these things, but more importantly, SHE NEEDS TO BE SHOWN ALL THESE THINGS ARE TRUE!!!

The relationships I’ve had in the past 14 years have only taught me to be a better man and I am very grateful for the gentleman I am today, even though my heart has paid dearly for those relationships. I know the only way for love to grow is to give it away and I have so much to give, it just bubbles out of me like a mountain spring.

Keep up the good work and have all the fun you want…I will go make some more!!!

Terry L. Thornock, 54, Idaho Falls, Idaho

flyintango@yahoo.com

P.S. Ladies, keep smiling and stay cute and sweet! Remember, if God didn’t want men to look at you, He never would have made you so blasted beautiful!!!

I think if you are with a healthy minded woman, she’ll know her value, despite society’s constant disrespect for people in general, and So following this guideline becomes more of an affirmation for her, not a requirement for her mental health. I feel, as a woman, I follow similar views on being a good woman. I want to build up my man but I won’t begin with a pile of rubble to build with, he should be confident and secure, so that I’m telling him what he already knows, showing my support. There are going to be days that we all need reminding of our worth, that standing against the mass is still the right thing to do, etc.

Just my thoughts on how I thought it was meant.

Cheryl

I agree. Maybe “encourage” or “support” her own discovery would be better than teach or allow.

I know I can’t make my husband be like this, is there anyway I can help him? And what if this is what I want out of a husband but it is not what he wants to be as a husband?

But shouldn’t you grow together throughout a marriage? And in every aspect help each other till learn and grow, in everything not just values?

I strongly disagree with number 2, re: teaching a woman her true value… that’s TOO much like “woman as extension of man.” No one else can teach you your own value, you have to learn that

for yourself.

Agree with Kate. Maybe “reaffirming” women, or people in general, of their value is a better way of putting it? Love the idea of uplifting others and reminding them of their worth, though! A beautiful human quality.

I think that it is not so much saying that value comes from a man- but rather a woman’s value is reflected back to her through him. SHE has to know her own worth and value before that can happen. That’s just my 2 cents.

Really Awesome post!!!!

I liked it… but I also agree with Kate. A gentleman should REMIND a woman of her value if she ever loses sight…

This seems like a lot of “requirements” for a man.. *Not necessarily the headlines, but the paragraphs of specifics to go with them. Something about this rubs me the wrong way.

I loved this article because you made a man’s intentions the focus, rather than traditional acts like opening a door. I love a man who will do those little things but I would admire and honor one who truly valued all women and strived to put his wife first and lead her toward a life of prosperity and spiritual growth.

I read this article just killing time as I scrolled through pinterest. I found myself with tears rolling down my face. Not because it made me sad, but it hit me that the man I’m dating is this article. And I want to keep him.

After having a daughter earlier this year, I find myself eager to exemplify a version of a man she can truly admire. A man who can be her hero. A man who is a true gentleman.

After searching through several books and countless articles, I was left only with shallow examples and definitions lacking wisdom. Nobody else needs to hear that being a gentlemen is opening a door for your girlfriend.

A gentleman is a man who understands the value of another. His candor is compassionate, thoughtful, polite and brave. He is strong, anchored, and humble. He is a protector and provider.

He is a one who learns while maintaining respect for authority. He is well groomed, well planned, and well prepared. And most importantly, a true gentleman has maintained a good name.

In my limited bout of research, I found a few items which resonated with my heart. I have listed them below.

Disclaimer: This article is not anti-feminist nor aimed to make women feel they “need” a man. My intention is only to articulate a healthy definition of an honorable man.

4 Signs Of A True Gentlemen

1. He Puts All Women Before Himself

Being a gentlemen has no bounds of an intimate relationship. It is a badge a man should carry with him at all times. A true gentlemen treats his mother, sisters, female friends and all feminine acquaintances with admiration and regard. He is in constant search of ways to honor and uphold the value of his female counterpart. Whether through listening, defending or affirming, a true gentlemen is a source of strength to all women, not just the one he desires.

2. He Teaches A Women Her Value

In a world full of voices tearing women down, a gentlemen replaces lies with truth. He goes beyond merely telling her valuable words and simplistic compliments. He is deliberate and purposeful in his actions to restore emotional order in her heart and remind her to see how valuable she truly is.

3. His Confidence Is In Wisdom, Not Power

Too often, men believe that money or power or influence drive a woman’s attraction. While a true gentlemen may attain these things, he is able to sustain his confidence even without them. Furthermore, he seeks out wisdom from those who have earned it and surrounds himself with leaders who have permission to speak into his life. A true gentleman is one who’s mind is healthy and in constant alert for information that may distort what is truly important.

4. He Is Wise With His Finances

He who lacks the ability to manage his finances lacks the ability to manage a relationship. As many of you know, finance is an important component to every marriage. A man’s personal finances are a great early detector of his ability to steward a future spouse or family. Does he make his money honorably? Does he have debt? Does he buy items outside of his pay grade to impress people? Does he hide or lie about money? What does he save for? Is he generous with others? These answers offer deep insight to the heart of man’s true desires. As it says in the Bible, “where a man’s treasure is, there his heart will be also.”

What do you see as signs of a “true gentleman”? Does my list fit in your definition? Let me know in the comments below

Original article and pictures take http://thedailypositive.com/4-signs-true-gentleman/ site